


be still my foolish heart

by stell_rs



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, I dont know how to tag things, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24739216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stell_rs/pseuds/stell_rs
Summary: Beau is tired and wants to take a break to meditate. Jester wants to join her. Unexpected confessions are made.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 9
Kudos: 88





	be still my foolish heart

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a state of yearning so here's some Beaujester carrying out what I crave

Beau was exhausted. 

She had been spending a lot of time with Jester lately. When she wasn’t with her, she was thinking about her. 

She thought about how happy she was spending her time with her. She thought about how grateful she was when she gossiped and told her stories. She thought about how her face felt warm, and her stomach fluttered and how she stumbled around her words when they locked eyes. Beau realised how strong her feelings for Jester had gotten, and that made her so very tired. 

So, she was relieved when Caleb drew the final line on the circle, and they hopped through to Nicodranas; she could finally get a break from everything going on. They rushed through the hassle at Yussa’s tower and made their way straight to the Lavish Chateau where they all could finally rest. 

Beauregard dropped her things onto her bed. Jester flopped down onto the bed next to hers. 

Beau let out a deep sigh before she began to make her way out of the room. 

“Where are you going, Beau?” Jester said, slightly muffled by the pillow beneath her.

“I’m going to the beach,” Beau replied. She picked up her staff and tied up her hair a little tighter. “I want to go meditate for a while.”

“Oh... Can I come with you?” Jester said a little too quickly. She sat up straight on the bed and looked towards her eagerly. “I could bring some of my leftover pastries with me, and we can like, walk a bit in the ocean too! I used to do that with my Mama, and it’s pretty calming!”

“Well I _am_ going to meditate; it might get pretty boring…”

“No!” Jester defended, “I can meditate too!”

“Uhm,” Beau let out softly. She could already feel the warm pink spreading across her cheeks. “Sure, why not.” She said before she could overthink it.

“Great!” Jester smiled as they made their way out onto the streets of Nicodranas, picking up the haversack with pastries on the way out. 

It was the mid-afternoon and Nicodranas was even more colourful than the last time they visited. The cloudless sky was a vibrant blue, and the sun shone brightly on to every surface, casting bright shapes of reflected colours across their faces. The warm breeze blew through the air and rustled Jester’s hair, and they could taste the saltiness on their tongues. The bustling sounds of the city dwindled the closer they got to the beach. She linked arms with Beau and skipped alongside her. 

The pair soon arrived at the beach. Beauregard took off her boots and let her toes sink into the warm sand. She sat down cross-legged and took in a deep breath. For the first time in a long time, she felt real peace. 

She closed her eyes, the sounds of the waves crashing onto the shore grounding her into her first stages of meditation. Her steady drifting meditation was interrupted by the rustling of sand just in front of her. Beau opened an eye to see what was going on.

**———**

Jester often found it difficult to hold still. 

She was an energetic person, and she liked to keep her hands busy at all times. She knew this, and yet she decided to ask Beau if she could go meditate with her. 

_I always do this!_ She thought to herself. 

Making quick, stupid decisions were an inevitability whenever Jester was around Beau. She wanted to go out of her way to impress Beau, even if that means she did something out of her comfort zone. 

Jester saw Beau rest onto the sand and couldn’t help but stare. 

Beau was the most beautiful person Jester had ever known. The warm sunlight shone brightly onto Beau’s tan skin. Pieces of her dark hair fell out of her standard top knot and delicately onto her face, being caught up and blown by the wind. Jester just appreciated how calm and peaceful she looked as opposed to how stressed she was recent. Her spell of admiration was broken once she realised that she was staring.

“Oh gosh,” She whispered to herself. “I have no clue how to meditate…”

Jester decided to at least try and mimic Beau’s movements. 

_Hopefully, she can appreciate the effort_ , she thought. Jester plopped down in front of Beau and crossed her legs. She smoothed down her skirt and rested her hands on her knees, closing her eyes forcefully. Her leg bounced in place, but she tried her best to look as tranquil as possible.

**———**

In front of her, Beau saw Jester “meditating.” Jester’s breathing was heavy with effort and Beau could tell she was trying her best, but she couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. Jester opened her eyes too and saw Beau looking back at her with one eye. Her cheeks grew warm with embarrassment, but butterflies in her stomach pushed the corners of her mouth into a smile, and soon enough, they were laughing together.

"I'm not so good at the meditating thing," Jester admitted. She reached into the haversack at her side and took out two pastries. “They’re a little squished, but they’re still good,” she added, handing one to Beau. 

“How long have you had these for?” Beau teased.

“Not that long!” Jester defended. “I promise they’re okay to eat! They’re the good ones from Rosohna, I got them just before we left.”

“Thanks, Jessie,”

It was getting later into the afternoon. The sun was dipping lower in the sky, enhancing the pale yellows of the sand—Beau bit into the pastry, the sweetness of the filling biting back at her teeth. Jester had quite the sweet tooth; Beau loved that about her.

“Beau?” Jester asked timidly.

“Mhmm?” Beau replied, mouth full of pastry.

“Thanks for letting me hang out with you.” 

She tucked a lock of loose hair behind her ear. Beau wasn’t one to give up her alone time, and Jester knew this. She knew Beau preferred to spend her time alone and yet here they were; sat together in the golden afternoon.

“I know you’ve been stressed lately, but I do like spending time with you.”

They smiled earnestly at each other, and Jester began to eat her pastry, smiling even fuller. 

Beau looked towards Jester as she looked out toward the ocean. Beau loved everything about Jester. She loved how deep her dimples were when she smiled and how she blushed the most beautiful shade of purple. She loved how passionate Jester was and how often a fervent fire would burn behind her eyes. All she wanted to do was hold her hand and take her everywhere she wanted. She wished to bring her to all the most beautiful places. Still, the perfect location couldn’t compare to Jester’s beauty in Beauregard’s eyes.

Jester turned towards Beau, and they looked deep into each other's eyes.

“Uh, you have some jam on your nose,” Beau flustered, brushing some jam from Jester’s face.

“Ah, thank you!” Jester said. 

Beau’s face turned a familiar red-pink, a common feeling that she had around Jester. She put her barely eaten pastry onto her lap and locked eyes with Jester. The sudden eye contact made her heart buzz, but she tried her best not to show it.

 _It’s time_ , Beau thought looking dearly at the woman sitting before her. 

Her breath turned heavy, and she let her shoulders slump into a slouch. Beau had thought forever how this would go. She always imagined taking it to her grave or letting it out on her deathbed but this? This was the perfect scenario. 

_This is it; it’s now or never._

“Can I tell you, something Jester?” Beau said, shakily. She took in deep breaths as she spoke, trying her best to stop her voice from cracking.

“Of course!” Jester replied, moving closer to her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Jester took Beau’s hands and held them tightly.

“Alright, fuck… Jester, promise you won’t be mad straight away, okay?” Beau turned away from Jester. Tears were welling in the corner of Beau’s eyes. She tried to keep her face out of Jester’s view; she didn’t want her to see her like this.

“Beau, I would never leave you for something you say,” Jester leaned in closer, trying to look into Beauregard’s eyes. 

It was silent for a second that seemed to stretch hours. Beau composed herself and turned back to face Jester. 

“I… I have feelings for you Jester.”

Beau’s stomach knotted, and her chest churned when she looked at Jester. She sat in front of her, mouth agape, speechless. Beau pulled her hands out of Jester’s back towards her, and held onto her torso, trying to stop her heart from beating out of her chest.

“A-and I don’t expect you to reciprocate them; I just think you deserve to know. You’re so kind and loving and- _Fuck!_ I’m just gonna go-“ 

Beau pushed herself up and wiped the sand off the sides of her legs. The tears, once pooled in her eyes, began to stream down her cheeks.

_Why do I do this? Why did I say that? Why did I even try?_

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and turned away from Jester. She walked away from her embarrassment, from her Jester, making only a few steps before she felt a tug at her arm.

“Beau.” Jester held firmly onto Beauregard’s wrist. She spun her around so they could face each other. Taking hold of both of her wrists, one in each hand, she gently led Beauregard towards the shoreline. Jester continued, in a calm hushed tone, “Don’t go just yet; come with me okay?”

Beau nodded, taking back one of her hands to wipe her face once more before linking it back with Jester.

Jester brought Beau right up to the ocean, just before where the water met the sand. Jester sat down to take off her shoes and place them into the haversack before taking hold of Beau’s hands once again. They walked into the water, just deep enough to reach their ankles. The sun had fallen even lower in the sky, casting it in shades of orange, purple and pink. The ocean was so clean, almost transparent. The waves crashed weakly against their legs, swaying them back and forth.

Beau looked out towards the horizon, partially to admire the gradient of the sunset, partly to avoid eye contact with Jester. Jester let go of Beau’s hands and placed one on her jaw. She turned her face gently towards her so she could look into her eyes. Her eyes shined with fresh tears, pent up from countless times before. Jester smiled softly, Beau mirroring the sentiment through her sorrow.

“I like you too Beau,” Jester said, bringing Beau’s face towards hers and into a kiss.

Beau stopped dead in place out of shock. She didn’t expect this at all. She thought Jester would kick her out of the Chateau instantly; she thought she would be extricated from the Nein. She was planning how she was going to leave:

_I have my bag packed already, I’d just need to get my stuff from my room and say goodbye to Caleb and Fjord. I could be gone by morning._

Her worries and anxieties couldn’t ever imagine her receiving the love she wished to give. The stirring in her chest was soon taken over with a burst of relief and joy. She came to and kissed Jester back, smiling all the same. She cupped her face and pulled her in even closer than she thought was possible. She had been waiting for this for so long. She didn’t know what to expect if it would ever happen, but this?

This was _so_ much better.

The weight of a thousand worlds lifted from both of their shoulders. Jester’s gentle touch flourished into a tight hug. She was purple in the face, joy and love bursting through her cheeks. She couldn’t predict that this would happen even with the Traveler’s aid. Jester let Beau go and sighed in relief. She took her hand once again and brought her further up the beach. She sat down on the sand, tapping the ground next to her to Beau. Beau sat down too.They looked towards the water and took in the sunset. The final curve of the sun peeked up for the horizon, casting a myriad of colours into the sky. 

Jester leaned her head onto Beau’s shoulder and placed her hand into Beau's. Beau squeezed her hand back.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if this is messed up fhdakjhfj. I have never used AO3 before so thank you for being patient with me :)).
> 
> Thanks for reading! This is also my first fan fiction ever so criticism for fic writing and writing in general is much much appreciated!
> 
> Here's my tumblr if you wanna see the chaos I post - @stell-rs.


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